Back to Blog

The Sensitivity Cycle

The Sensitivity CycleLife is an everchanging cycle of experiences and as human beings we are continuously navigating various tasks, relationships, and situations.  Some are big such as marriage or career changes, and others small, like eating a meal or going for a walk.  Regardless, each experience comprises of phases and has a particular flow and rhythm. Ron Kurtz, founder of Hakomi Somatic Psychotherapy, refers to these stages of experience as the “The Sensitivity Cycle”.  K...

We don't always get what we want

In life, we don’t always get what we want.  In fact, we often don’t get what we want, and these experiences create immense suffering in our lives.  Maybe there was a job you really wanted, and you were convinced that you were a perfect fit, or a person who was definitely ‘the one’, or an apartment that felt like it was meant to be home.  Why did not work out?  Why is life so unfair?  Life is full of loss, from not getting the last brownie to losing the love of yo...

You do bad things, have bad thoughts, and have shadow parts.

All of us have a story, more than one, where we have been treated poorly by others, the victim in the narrative. Rarely do we recall the times when we hurt others, when we experience envy or admit in taking delight in judging people.  These characteristics are fundamental to the human experience, yet many people invest extensive time and energy, consciously or unconsciously, denying the less than virtuous characteristics of themselves while vilifying others.  Self-righteousness is rife...

Premature change

When it comes to change, we speak a lot about how people avoid change and how hard it is to accept that change is inevitable, a constant.  Nothing remains the same and life is constantly in flux.  Who you were this morning is not exactly who you are when you climb into bed this evening.  Life has happened to you and on that note, you are not a noun-a stagnant thing in space.  Rather, you are a verb, an action, a constant doing even though you may experience yourself as a ‘t...

Why do I have to feel uncomfortable emotions?

Many people enter therapy confused about why they ‘have to’ feel uncomfortable emotions such as anger, sadness, or jealousy.  In fact, some folks are almost resentful that they feel these emotions and sometimes the reason for coming to therapy is to stop feeling ‘bad’.  This is completely understandable as uncomfortable emotions are difficult to tolerate and many of us have never been taught how they work or what the purpose of such feelings are. So, let’s start there: uncomf...

Facing fears

All of us are afraid of something. Afraid of dying, scared of heights, petrified of spiders and so forth. Fear is a part of life and is often useful when listened to and acted on appropriately. It helps guide behaviour and hopefully helps us avoid danger and unnecessary harm. To not be afraid is to live a life without natural boundaries. So, it makes sense that there are fears that are worth paying attention to. However, so many of the things that people proclaim to fear exist within their minds...

The need for certainty

The pull towards certainty, to know that everything will be okay or not okay, is an experience all people can relate to. We want to know that we are making the right decision or that we have considered every possible option lest we be unprepared for the worst or best-case scenario. This drive for knowing, to have some semblance of control in life, is completely understandable, particularly for people who have experienced trauma.  Childhood is particularly challenging for many people because...