The Sensitivity Cycle
Life is an everchanging cycle of experiences and as human beings we are continuously navigating various tasks, relationships, and situations. Some are big such as marriage or career changes, and others small, like eating a meal or going for a walk. Regardless, each experience comprises of phases and has a particular flow and rhythm. Ron Kurtz, founder of Hakomi Somatic Psychotherapy, refers to these stages of experience as the “The Sensitivity Cycle”. Kurtz suggests that our ability to flow through this cycle with each new experience with genuine curiosity and presence facilitates a deeper understanding and connection with our core selves as well as experience itself.
The first stage of the Sensitivity Cycle requires awareness, insight, and the ability to gather information about ourselves (what we need) and the world (what is available and required of us). At this stage we are aware that there is a task we wish to undertake or a particular problem which needs to be addressed. Following this awareness, we act based on the situation and our needs, and respond in ways which will hopefully bring about a desired outcome. Following this, we become involved in the experience and allow ourselves to take in the nourishment and goodness of said experience. Finally, the experience ends and with completion, we allow ourselves to acknowledge and accept the ending. A time of rest, contemplation, and replenishment follows before we take our new learnings and insights forward to guide us in our next experience.
Unfortunately, due to a host of circumstances, such as trauma, family, cultural or religious belief systems, and/or socio-economic difficulties, people do not move through this cycle unhindered. As such, we develop barriers, protector parts, and/defences at certain stages of The Sensitivity Cycle. Each phase of the cycle produces stage specific barriers, and these develop to protect us from experiences which overwhelm the core self. Ultimately, we get stuck and this ‘stuckness’ manifests within us somatically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and cognitively. Having an awareness of where we get stuck and how we experience these protective parts inside ourselves can help us navigate life more authentically.
The Barriers
Barriers develop at the different phases of “The Sensitivity Cycle” to protect the core self from unbearable pain and overwhelm. Generally, these protective parts develop in childhood, and become part of the lens through which we experience the world. At the time of development, they were helpful and allowed one to survive and navigate situations which, at the time, were experienced as painful, overwhelming, and/or unmanageable. However, as we develop and move through life, they often become rigid and habitual. They land up keeping us stuck. In this way, they can become more harmful than helpful and often land up bringing about the pain we have been trying to protect ourselves from.
· The Insight Barrier
As a child/adolescent, one had frequent experiences of feeling unsafe, unseen, and helpless. To ‘see’ the problem would have been unbearable, and so to not see was the wisest and safest option. The world is experienced as unsafe and the self as helpless and unable to bring about effective change. The insight barrier is characterized by avoidance, lack of clarity, confusion, withdrawal, and being overwhelmed by details or emotions. Protector parts that develop at this stage are often driven by safety. However, as we grow older, this barrier can keep us stuck because clarity is needed for right action. Without clarity, we may do nothing, or we could respond habitually, sticking to what we know. This oftens feels safe but results in situations which are the opposite or do not meet our needs. To respond effectively, we need to be honest with ourselves and where we are at even if this information feels uncomfortable or we do not want to face the truth of our circumstances. To unflinchingly see ourselves and our circumstances can be really challenging.
· The Response Barrier
The response barrier speaks to core beliefs of not feeling like anything you do is right, and that it is not okay to take action to satisfy your needs and wants. This barrier develops in response to experiences of being shamed or punished when failing, being pushed to attempt tasks prematurely and/or without adequate support. We cannot get ourselves to do what it is we need to do because the task at hand feels overwhelming, we fear a perceived outcome (something “bad” could happen), perfectionism, and fear of failure. As such, one avoids responding or taking responsibility or alternatively, acts impulsively. The longer we hang out in this place, the more stuck we feel, and we often become increasingly depressed or anxious. Feeling burdened, heavy, and ‘stuck’ is common when experiencing a response barrier. Moreover, if your sense of self-worth is intimately tied in with success, then it becomes increasingly difficult to act because failure is experienced as evidence of your defectiveness vs. an opportunity to learn and grow.
· The Nourishment Barrier
Ultimately, the nourishment barrier speaks to the denial of one’s needs and the belief that it is not okay or ‘weak’ to need nourishment, love, and support. There is a constant sense of not having enough or having experiences but not truly being able to enjoy them. This barrier can develop for several reasons. These include the experience of having felt safe and loved in the world and then suddenly experiencing loss, hurt, or trauma. The individual may become fearful that if they relax again or let their guard down, something bad may happen. Alternatively, this way of being becomes a strategy to ward off the pain of loss or disappointment. If I never really hope for anything good, or constantly hold myself back from enjoyment, or love, then change or endings won’t hurt so much. Unfortunately, this never really works and so you get the pain of loss without the joy of the experience. Rather than continuously holding back for fear of loss, we can learn how to cope with loss effectively and start to accept endings or change as a natural and inevitable part of life. Moreover, having a good understanding of one’s needs also allows for knowing what experiences would be nourishing and supporting as opposed to depleting and draining.
· The Completion Barrier
The completion barrier speaks to difficulties with endings and completion. This barrier is characterised by the avoidance of completion often due to perfectionism and the underlying core belief of not being good enough. Moreover, one may not believe that it is okay to relax, take time, and not be constantly working towards something because ultimately, one’s worth needs to be earned. I am not enough as I am.
This is a tiring stage to be stuck in because busyness never ends. There is constant feeling state of lacking, needing to prove oneself, but never quite getting the approval and love the self is desperately seeking and needing. This stage often manifests as muscle tension, tight back and shoulder muscles, and a background hum of exhaustion. Here, it becomes important to recognize the importance of completion, relaxation, and knowing when to persist and when to let go.
Conclusion
Each stage of the Sensitivity Cycle impacts each other. For example, it you do not know what you genuinely need, it is difficult to choose a course of action which will feel nourishing and safe. On the other hand, if you have not given yourself the opportunity to choose and act in a way that aligns with your needs, then you may indirectly choose a course of action (no course of action is a course of action too) or impulsively respond, and thus not receive the required nourishment and/or struggle to complete. Presence, patience, and compassion, allows us to approach the sensitivity cycle with curiosity and nonjudgment. Only by accepting that there are barriers, and that this is okay, can we help ourselves make the changes needed to make room for experiences which help us grow and deepen as human beings.
References
Hakomi Professional Training Manual Level 2
Weiss, H., Johanson, G., & Monda, L. (2015). Hakomi Mindfulness-Centred Somatic Psychotherapy: A Comprehensive Guide to Theory and Practice. Norton: New York
